


a little skinnier

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, Eating Disorder, Josh loves him with all his heart, Kinda triggering so read carefully, M/M, Purging, Smut (a bit), Starving, That's gay, Tyler just wants to be beautiful, anorexic!tyler, underweight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-20 13:41:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10663800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tyler loves Josh. Tyler wants to be beautiful for him.Tyler weighs 75lbs.Josh loves Tyler. Josh doesn't know how to help him.Josh let Tyler destroy himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> /!\ TRIGGER WARNING /!\  
> IF YOU'RE EASILY TRIGGERED BY ANOREXIA, BULIMIA, EATING DISORDERS, DON'T READ THIS.  
> PLEASE STAY SAFE. STARVING TO DEATH ISN'T THE SOLUTION. EATING HEALTHY AND WORKING OUT IS.

The pulse of Tyler's heart is slowing down day by day.

He says he doesn't care, that he can die, because nobody would care or even notice. That's not true. Josh cares.

They're both lying on the red-haired boy's sofa, Tyler on top of Josh. Josh's body is warm. Tyler's own isn't. The brunet's body is as cold as the air outside when it just snowed. He's shaking, his skinny frame looking like it's about to break, his little bony hands gripping at Josh's shirt and scooting as close as he can for warmness. It's the middle of July, and Tyler is cold, even with two sweaters.

He was aware that it would happen, so he doesn't care.

Josh's finger slide against his jaw, smiling sadly. Tyler tries his best to return the smile, weakly. "Do you want to sleep, angel?" Josh asks softly.

Tyler just nods slowly and let himself fall asleep between Josh's strong arms.

He just wants to be beautiful for Josh.

 

* * *

 

The sun is shining outside, and the weather is hotter than it has ever been this summer. Tyler just wears a single sweater and simple skinny jeans that are still way too big for him even with their tightness, and he's happy he's not cold.

Josh gets out of the bathroom, his hair and chest still wet — he had a shirt on anyway. Tyler winced. "How can you be still wet and wear a shirt anyway? It must feel terrible." He asks, and Josh laughs, making Tyler smile. He loves this boy so much.

Josh approaches the sofa and sits down beside his lover, putting an arm around his slender shoulders to pull him closer. Tyler hums in content as Josh starts to play with his hair.

"Do you want to eat something, sweetheart?" He whispers softly.

Tyler grips at his shirt and shakes his head quickly. He doesn't want to eat, he doesn't _need_ to eat, he mustn't eat, it's bad, if he eats he's going to be fat and gross and _disgusting_ and Josh would leave him and-

"Tyler, baby, please, don't cry..." Josh says in a breathe, cupping the boy's bony cheek. He kisses him softly to try and calm him down, but it doesn't work. "I just, I can't eat, J... If I eat, I'm going to be _gross_." Tyler says and starts to sob. Josh's heart is cracking everywhere, like every time he sees the boy he loves in this position. He puts two fingers under his chin.

"I _do_ eat, Ty. Does it mean I look gross for you?" Josh asked. Tyler's eyes went wide. " _NO_! Of course not! It's... It's different, Josh." Tyler replies, biting his lip.

Josh sighed. "And how is it different? You're as important as I am, even more, and you shou-" He started, before being cut off by Tyler. "You can't understand, Josh." He spat.

A heavy silence fell in the room.

"Then make me. How can I understand? Please Tyler, I _want_ to understand." He asks, on the edge of tears. Tyler just gets up before going in their room and slamming the door, locking it right after, starting to sob.

He didn't answer to Josh when he heard him call his name softly multiple times, just sliding his fingers against the door.

He can't understand. He can't.

 

* * *

 

"Aah... Josh- _Please_..."

Bodies flushed together, the frame of the bed hitting the wall quietly every time Josh was softly thrusting into Tyler, the brunet was constantly asking for more, more, _more_ , faster, rougher.

Josh would've done it if Tyler wasn't so tiny and skinny. He was even surprised that the boy could still take his length inside him.

He didn't want to tell him that he was afraid to break him by going faster, that he was afraid he couldn't take it.

So he just told him he wanted to gently make love to him, today.

And so he did.

Josh was kissing on Tyler's thin neck, tongue and teeth sometimes gently joining the dance against his pale skin, while he still thrusted into him, making him grip the sheets tightly, filling the room with soft moans.

Removing his mouth from the boy's neck, Josh fastened slightly the moves of his hips, resting one of his forearm beside Tyler's head while the redhead carressed the other boy's cheek with the back of his fingers. He locked eyes with Tyler, who was struggling to keep them open from the overwhelming bliss, but didn't want to break the eye contact. "You're so beautiful..." Josh whispered and Tyler's heart fluttered while he moaned softly as an answer. All the things he did, it was working! Josh finds him beautiful.

 _I'm going to be even more beautiful,_ Tyler thought. _You will be so proud_.

The thrusts slowly became rougher and erratic, Josh hitting Tyler's prostate every time, still holding eye contact while they both moaned together. Their foreheads were soon touching, their noses brushing together, their breaths melting in each other's.

Josh felt the familiar warmness in his lower stomach, and by the way Tyler was moaning louder and louder, he knew they were both close. "So pretty..." He whispered. "For you, Joshie, it's all for you..." Tyler replied before kissing Josh, and a kiss that was supposed to be sweet turned out to be almost obscene, wet tongue sounds and skin slapping together, as their moans melted in each other's mouth.

It's with a whisper of each other's name that they both climaxed together.

Josh pulled out not long after, and it's while cuddling that they both fell asleep.

Josh found his way to sleep while wondering how the boy he loved went to this point, starving and slowly killing himself, and how he could help him.

Tyler found his way to sleep while Josh's fingers were gently playing with his hair, and he ignored the fact that his stomach growled loudly from hunger, hurting, and that he was shivering because he felt so cold.

 

* * *

 

On rainy and cold days, Tyler can't move from the house. If he goes outside, he will probably freeze alive.

So, on days like this, when Josh is at work, Tyler stays at home. And it's usually really long. He was actually wrapped in a ton of blankets, with as much as clothes that he could put on, an electric heater two feet away from him. He was still shivering.

As I said before, he knew that it would happen if he tried to be beautiful. He didn't care. He didn't fucking care.

He was beautiful for Josh.

And if it's for Josh, he would set himself on fire or climb mountains fully naked.

He felt the need to go and weigh himself, he hadn't done it in two days, and he usually did it three times a day.

Leaving his blankets behind and already starting to shiver, he quickly went to the bathroom.

He looked at the scale and gulped. Why was it always a challenge?

Closing his eyes, he weighed himself. And when he opened them, he cried.

79lbs.

That's 4lbs more than the last time.

He started to sob as he saw himself in the mirror. He was so fat, so gross, he needed to be beautiful, he can't be fat, he can't be disgusting like he is, Josh will leave him, he wants to be skinny, he needs, he _needs_...

Dropping on his knees in front of the toilets, he shoved three fingers down his throat. He started to throw up, only bile because he didn't ate today.

Why did he felt so dizzy?

He didn't care, fuck, he needed to be beautiful and skinny, not fat like he was... So he shoved his fingers down his throat again. He threw up, again. Again, over and over again.

But then, he felt a really, really strong pain in his chest. Stronger than he ever felt.

He didn't react to the screams behind him as he noticed that he was now vomitting blood and that his vision became blurry.

Everything went quiet and he didn't care to be skinny anymore.

Tyler Joseph died from a heart attack because of the lack of potassium in his blood.

Tyler Joseph died from anorexia.

He died because he wanted to be beautiful.


	2. sequel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> missing•dimple requested a sequel so here it is ;))
> 
> i don't think it's worth posting it honestly because i hate what i wrote

Another empty bottle of cheap whiskey fell on the floor.

A man with faded hair that once was bright red was sobbing loudly in his room, lying on the floor, crying from the loss of his lover, three years ago.

He had thought that alcohol would make him forget, at least for a few moments. It never did. It made him drown even more. He looked miserable.

He had grown a beard, because Tyler said it looked good on him, and he didn't have the strength to shave anyway. His hair wasn't bright anymore, it was dirty, too long and damaged. His eyes were always swollen and his large dark circles were almost scary. He was way skinnier than he used to be.

He deserved to die slowly, with a painful death. He deserved to suffer like his lover had.

So he wasn't eating, he was just drinking alcohol without stopping.

Grabbing another bottle, of vodka this time, not far away from him, he drank it in a few seconds, and started to feel really bad.

He remembered how bright Tyler's smile was. Even when the boy felt bad, even in his darkest times, he always smiled like it was nothing, showing his perfectly imperfect teeth. He remembered how fluffy Tyler's hair was, poking out everywhere, so soft, curling a bit at the tip. He remembered how Tyler was mumbling and frowning whenever it would get too long, saying that he should cut it. He remembered how Tyler's lips felt against his, against his cheeks, his forehead, his neck, his jaw, his stomach, and wherever those pretty plump lips had been before, brushing every inch of his skin.

His head spinned so much.

He remembered how Tyler would scoot closer by night, clinging at him like his life depended on it. He remembered how Tyler would bite hardly on his neck when their naked bodies were flushed together, trying to shut the sounds coming from the pure bliss. _Fuck_ , he even remembered how _tight_ Tyler was.

He remembered every single feature of this boy, how his eyebrows would move when he talked, how the muscles in his back would look, tensing, when he was moving the couch in their living room, how his dimples would appear every time he would smile, how he would look up through his lashes to have whatever thing he wanted, how his eyes would look glassy and how he pouted whenever something was refused to him.

He remembered everything, every single freckle, every single _i love you_ , every single eyelash that fell on his cheek, _everything_.

He decided to stop fighting against the fog that was invading his head.

He died from alcohol poisoning, this night.

But he didn't care.

Joshua Dun's soul was already gone since three years.

**Author's Note:**

> Please Stay Safe
> 
> ANOREXIA/BULIMIA HELPLINE - (800) 931-2237


End file.
